Mayo Clinic and "The Broadcast"

August 19, 2010

I just want to say:  I love my mom.  She has made me who I am today.  I know this is really hard for her.  In some ways probably harder for her than me.  I know that if she could take this from me and put it in her she would. BUT..she can't.  It's in me... I get to decide how I'm going to deal with it.  I'm sorry if this comes across harsh or mean.  It's just that right now in my life I need to do what's good for me.  If I fail it's all on me and really... no one will be more disappointed than me!!.  My mom wants me to go to Mayo.  What is the deal with Mayo?  Everyone has an opinion about it, but no one says why they either love it or hate it.  I called.  It's not  "preferred" for my insurance, this ordeal would cost me 10x more money than it's already going to.  If the care is 10x better,  I'm all for it, but is it?  I even called Mayo to make an appointment.  They were even a little mystified as to why I wanted to go there with the insurance I have, but I still made the appointment.  So, I called the really nice nurse that set up my biopsy and asked her what the deal was.  She said if you have something rare that your doctor can't figure out...go to Mayo.  That's what they specialize in.  I have, not to minimize, but your regular garden variety breast cancer.  My doctor has recommended a surgeon that used to be his partner.  I love my doctor.  He is super smart and talks way over my head , usually with more info than I interested in!  The reason I go to him is because I trust him to take really good care of me.  A lot of people told me how "curt" and to the point this surgeon is, and how he has no bed side manner.  At first I was determined to find another one.  Of course I had not even met him.  I made the appointment, but am really ready not to like him and find a woman surgeon.  I cancelled my appointment at Mayo, and kept the numbers of two other female surgeons.  I 'm kind of jumping the gun, but the more information I get and plans I make, the more in control I feel.  That's an important thing right now.  There is so much going on with my body that I don't have control of, the few things I can are treasured.  That leads to the a huge problem I have with my mom.  Again...please read the first line... My mom decided to tell everyone and their dry cleaner that I have cancer.  Really, shouldn't that be my decision?  My preference would have been to find out exactly what the problem is, what we're (we're as in the doctors and me) are going to do about it, and then tell people.  Now,  I have to call any one I think should hear it from me instead of Waste Management tomorrow.  Great way to spend a Saturday...Hi Dad, I have cancer...Don't know what I'm going to do about it...AAAUUGH.